For suicidal individuals and their loved ones, survivors, mental health professionals, & others who care, Although severe depression led him to jump off the bridge, Kevin Hines, Yet it gives me great hope that the vast majority of suicide attempt survivors remain just that survivors. I cant tell you how much of what you write touches me in some way. She tried to take her life when I was 12. West returned to the Bay Area for college at UC Berkeley after her family moved from Pleasanton to North Carolina several years ago. This is perhaps the best argument for preventing suicide. A view of the Golden Gate Bridge with San Francisco behind it in January 1947. Children are a major reason for living for many people who battle suicidal thoughts. Hello Tony, so sorry for my belated response. If prior research is any indication, the barrier will save lives, even when taking into account people who go elsewhere to die by suicide. As I entered Oklahoa, something I like to think it was my Higher Powerinspired me to call my brother in Illinois and I ended up going in and out of treatment centers until I finally realized that Im an alcoholic and that there was hope for me. This is perhaps the best argument for preventing suicide. Simply put, means restriction saves lives. KCBS IS A REGISTERED TRADEMARK OF CBS BROADCASTING INC. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. When I woke up a day later, my depression had greatly improved. It is important to note that there has been no activity on her phone, bank accounts, or social media accounts since Sept. 30. Tears ago, when my children were younger, I actually reached a point where I went beyond imagining the trauma and lifelong suffering, to my children; such was my pain. We certainly do need to continue educating people about suicide prevention, including the reality that most people who survive a suicide attempt choose life afterwards. At this point, the instinct is what keeps me living. 19-year-old Sydney West was last seen Sept. 30. Anyone with information is asked to contact private investigator Scott Dudek at (925) 705-8328 or Dudek.associates@gmail.com. As his wife described, without the weighted boots to keep him upright, Rhodes' body arched forward, eventually meeting the water face-first. Sometimes, life just sucks and the pain of living is unbearable. Any suggestions? But what about people like me? Your comments are false. This is a terribly hard process, and I hope that youre able to get help and support from others. She was last seen wearing a light teal hoodie, dark leggings, and slip-on vans sneakers with dark green and black print. I was able to make it out of the hopelessness and despair that led to my attempt. User account menu. At approximately 6:45 am, Sydney was captured by cameras entering the Golden Gate Bridge. Look at life this way Instead of allowing a human being to be a target almost like a bomb dropping on ringed target Simply flip the idea of all the violence and fear over..Draw a Large Heart then several hearts within Make a plan for dreams and plans Stick to it .. You also can find other places to get help by phone, email, chat, or text at http://www.SpeakingOfSuicide.com/resources/#immediatehelp. The 265-foot plunge off the most famous bridge in the world was right in his wheelhouse, until it wasnt. Not having the courage to fulfill my plan, I checked into treatment centers and each time I checked out I sank into suicidal depression again. She was said to be very close with her family. He and his wife lived in Tracy and had an adorable . Here I thought I just occasionally drank too much. Email: joshua.bote@sfgate.com and Signal: 707-742-3756, Six months after student's disappearance in San Francisco, family continues search, Horoscope for Saturday, 3/04/23 by Christopher Renstrom, Snowboarder dies at Tahoe ski resort following historic blizzard, West I-80 closed near Tahoe due to snow and 'multiple spinouts', Wife of Jeffrey Vandergrift issues somber update, Even Salesforces tower HQ isnt safe from office cuts, Inside Harry and Meghans favorite In-N-Out, Horoscope for Friday, 3/03/23 by Christopher Renstrom, Massive Lake Tahoe waterfront compound slashes price by $20M, This beloved East Bay hybrid cafe and bike shop is closing, Ja Morant says he'll get help after video shows apparent gun. She attempted suicide three times and was in mental hospitals, etc. Syd, Ive always loved you from the bottom of my heart, since the minute I saw your eyes open. [This comment was edited, per the Comments Policy. A jump off the Golden Gate Bridge takes around four seconds, during which a person will reach a speed of 80 mph before smashing into the water's surface like concrete. Its always women telling men what we should be. Both my son and I said we woud never consider it again, after that. My sons father committed suicide and in the moments he was alive after shooting himself he kept saying sorry I shouldnt have never done this over and over. The Suicide Deterrent System, also known as the Safety Net, is being constructed to keep people from jumping off the Golden Gate Bridge. Notify me of follow-up comments by email. All rights reserved. In 2000, he actually did jump off the Golden Gate Bridge. In the midst of a struggle with mental illness, Hines got a running start . My family lied to me about basically everything relevant and valuable in life. I also knew that there was no hope whatsoever for what was wrong with me. This site continues to distract me from my suicidal thoughts. They have a good, nonjudgmental, and supportive discussions at ChronicSuicideSupport.com/forum/. I interviewed her parents.https://t.co/tiBGM53NZz pic.twitter.com/lvHh2cCrZg. Growing up Sydney was described as a sweet and goofy girl who wasnt afraid of being herself. So they dont die, but continue miserable lives wishing for it to be over. Anyone with information about Sydneys whereabouts is asked to contact private investigator Scott Dudek by texting or calling 925-705-8328. The Golden Gate Bridge came to be recognized as a symbol of the power and progress of the United States, and it set a precedent for suspension-bridge design around the world. And I got very drunk every time I drank after that, which was quite often. She replied, She probably figured she could fix you. This was the beginning of my recognition of the fact that I wasnt the horrible person I made myself out to be, in fact, my story is very much like a lot of alcoholics Ive met. There are many people with children whose pain or distorted thinking overrides all else, in spite of their best wishes. "No detail is too small," said her mother, Kimberly West. I love the analogy with weight loss. what can I do. Video footage from the bridge has been carefully reviewed by investigators but due to foggy and smoky conditions camera views where obstructed making it impossible to tell her exact location on the bridge. I feel stuck between a rock and a hard place. Anyone in the Bay Area with any information regarding her disappearancecan contact Sgt. Trackback URL Im not sure that preventing suicide is such a noble act. Yet it gives me great hope that the vast majority of suicide attempt survivors remain just that survivors. It happens. God Bless You. They lied about every imaginable factor of surviving in life. I wanted to talk with others in the same situation but I could understand how that may not be in the best interest of either party. The. Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email. I still think about suicide, although not as often. Her family launched a website,findsydneywest.com, that they hope will remind the community Sydney is still missing. similar to cancer ads, etc. Theres another post that might be helpful to you, too: You Cant Do Everything: Limitations in Helping a Suicidal Person. Andrew was formerly a Creative Executive at Westbrook Studios. I wonder what psychotherapy he has tried. At the time of her disappearance Sydney was 5 feet 10 inches tall, weighs around 130 pounds with light brown hair and blue eyes. Have you read Whats In the Way Is the Way by Mary OMalley? What happens to them afterward? All theses years following, I did not feel good about myself, am reunited with my nephew, reading up on how to talk to him. My passion for helping suicidal people stems from my own lived experience with suicidality and suicide loss. Found it was in part due to hormone imbalance along with sugar imbalances, throw in that its winter along with little sleep, emotional bombs going off and I had the perfect storm. I tried by drinking mosquito poison. Between 1937 and 2012, an estimated 1,400 bodies were recovered of people who had jumped from the Golden Gate Bridge, located in the San Francisco Bay Area in the United States. Each year I did - 2004, 2007, and 2013 - the Red Sox went on to win the World Series. A little over four years ago I couldnt see an end to the emotional pain and despair I felt and became obsessed with thoughts of killing myself: another failed marriage, another lost job, another lost home, my girlfriend left me and just as we seemed to be getting back together died of a stroke. For me, the will to live kicked in. Take a trip somewhere I mean what do you have to lose, on your journey to wherever you may see life worth living make yourself do something. I put up a front so my kids wont end up the same way. Where Are They Now? "There were many people in that vicinity during that time," said Mr. West. Her family relocated to North Carolina in July 2017. I agree with you completely, Anonymous. She is described as a white female, 5'10" and weighing about 130 pounds. Dr. Freedenthal also is an associate professor at the University of Denver Graduate School of Social Work, and a psychotherapist and consultant in private practice. Good luck to your friend, Julie, and thanks for commenting. In 2000, he actually did jump off the Golden Gate Bridge. Will I Be Committed to a Mental Hospital if I Tell a Therapist about my Suicidal Thoughts? The ongoing survival of people who attempt suicide is not (always) inevitable. Its death toll has since been surpassed only by the Nanjing Yangtze River Bridge in China.. Sydney West was last seen near the Golden Gate Bridge in the early morning hours of Sept. 30, walking near Crissy Field. I know someone who hanged themself 18 months ago after a buildup of personal problems and much alcohol that night, but rescue services were called and saved him. You can learn more about me here. The decision collapsed Rhodes sister's claim that her brother was murdered as cameraman Guzman should have been in a boat to pull her brother out of the water. She vanished without a trace from San Francisco, California, near the Golden Gate Bridge, a popular tourist spot for many. BERKELEY, CA The parents of Sydney "Syd" West, a missing person who was previously a University of California, Berkeley student, have divulged new details in her case and are asking anyone with information to come forward. Your message here is a good one. Footage in the area, according to a website the family recently set up in light of her disappearance, was blocked by fog and morning haze. He had lost two fingers in a knife fight on the set of the movie "Scarface." Me and my childrens life broke into pieces and our life will never be the same. Sydneys father believes that there is someone that may have seen something. Stacey Freedenthal, PhD, LCSW, is the author of the books Helping the Suicidal Person: Tips and Techniques for Professionals and Loving Someone with Suicidal Thoughts: What Family, Friends, and Partners Can Say and Do. Sydney West Cameras on the Golden Gate Bridge recorded Sydney the morning of Sept. 30. Thanks again for your thoughtful comment. Woke up yesterday and realized I needed to make another pilgrimage before the series begins. I am a 60+ year old woman with four grown kids and six grandkids and when the darkness set in I could no longer see the effect this would have had on their lives. Andrew Chamings is an editor at SFGATE. . Or, at least, balanced! I pretended to have an awakening and successfully faked a born-again quality joy that warded off the idiotic, feeble attempts of others to help me. I am so glad my attempt did not end in my death. Email: Andrew.Chamings@sfgate.com | Twitter: @AndrewChamings. West's family urges anyone with information about the case is asked to contact Scott Dudek, their investigator, who can be reached at 925-705-8328. I tried commiting suicide and ended up brain dead Then after I got out of the coma, I was put in rehab for 11 months where I kept trying to break my neck and die because I missed my fiance so much (he wasnt allowed to visit me because he had attempted suicide with me too since he didnt want to live without me). As the deaths of Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain draw attention to the public health crisis of depression and mental illness, Megyn Kelly TODAY welcomes Kevi. Sydney West is from Chapel Hill, North Carolina, but also grew up in the Pleasanton area. Sydneyhas light brown hair and blue eyes. First published on January 25, 2021 / 11:03 AM. But, as you said, the problem is also bigger than a question of means. Cookie Notice Please enter valid email address to continue. Im about to be 22, medicated trying to live normal with constant suicidal thoughts. SFGATE news editor Amy Graff contributed to this report. We will never recover from it. At the time, a made for TV movie, named Silence of the Heart came out. Im sorry youre feeling so bad that your suicide seems, to you, to be inevitable. The West family has also upped its reward for her return to $25,000. Interviews with jump survivors and potential jumpers . 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Throughout the years, Ive engaged in self-injurious behaviors. 1998 - 2023 Nexstar Media Inc. | All Rights Reserved. Your battle won matters. After the war, people were looking for entertainment in 1940's San Francisco, but TVs were not yet common in homes, public hangings were history and the 49ers hadnt joined the NFL yet. If you enjoyed this article, subscribe now to receive more just like it. He traveled from L.A. to San Francisco days before the jump to prepare, and holed up in the Grand Southern Hotel on Mission Street with his cameraman to wait for a clear day so the footage would look beautiful when it was watched on news channels from coast to coast. I wonder if you might benefit from talking with like-minded folks at ChronicSuicideSupport.com. Theyre asking anyone "who may have been walking, biking, running, who commute over the bridge particularly Wednesday mornings at that time" to share information if they might have seen West or anything that can help locate the missing teen. America doesnt feed narcissistic people and men are more materialistic. My failure as a person was responsible for my extreme step. I died that day too. How many of the survivors were so injured by the attempt that they were unable to complete the act? In the midst of a struggle with mental illness, Hines got a running start . "We know that there was a lot of pedestrian, car and bicycle traffic on the Golden Gate Bridge the morning Sydney disappeared. He says he fully expected to speak with her the next day and became very worried when she didnt return multiple calls from him. Although severe depression led him to jump off the bridge, Kevin Hines has stated: "The very second I let go, I knew I had made a big mistake." As of 2013, it is estimated that 34 people have survived after jumping. Its impossible to know but something to consider, in case youre only considering the set of possibilities for which you blame yourself. Praying for you. Getting through them is the way to make your life your own again.. I worry almost everyday that Ill maim myself again and not die. He recovered physically, but mentally he is now depressed and on anti-depressants,has anxiety attacks, is too emotional for working, and keeps saying he wishes he had succeeded with his attempt as he feels a burden to everyone. A couple hours. So there are many, many more medications and medication combinations that he can try. Car plunges off California elevated highway, 3 people killed. Sydneyhas not used her phone, social media or bank accounts since she disappeared. The Golden Gate Bridge is the number one suicide site in the world. The family of Sydney West is offering a $25,000 reward for her return. Aside from seeing a therapist, I didnt find anything out there to help. Copyright 2023 Nexstar Media Inc. All rights reserved. She is 5 10 tall and weighs 130 pounds. Had medical intervention on the second. Which will turn into the vicious cycle of no job= no money, and no money = no job. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten, or redistributed. While living in San Francisco West enjoyed singing and playing the piano for open mic nights around the city. I am sure your mum will be watching over you, so sad that she caused you so much pain, please seek help, you are precious, with love xxx. I often want to jump off the bridge by my apartment. I hope you will read it and take its words to heart. Everything says Get help. On the morning of September 30, 2020, Sydney took a ride share service to the Golden Gate Bridge, where she often went to jog, practice yoga, and exercise in nearby Crissy Field. "Jump." That's the word Kevin Hines heard in his head on September 25, 2000, as he stood on the Golden Gate Bridge. But the cameras lost sight of her because of heavy fog, making it impossible to know what happened toher. But what if you dont want help? I am sure your little self felt am I not lovable enough but it was never about you, your mum was in pain and obviously thought you would be better off without her, but it is not a reflection on you, hard to accept as children are programmed to feel the centre of the world. Anyone with information is asked to call 415-575-4444. Upon its completion in 1937, it was the tallest and longest suspension bridge in the world. I address the myth of inevitable suicide in this post. Suicide prevention can save lives. She had moved in with friends in San Francisco, where she was living when she disappeared. For Kevin Hines, the will to live kicked in immediately. I know you mean well, but I always feel I wished I never survived. Horrified spectators screamed and mothers covered their childrens eyes as Chief Sundowns lifeless body bobbed under the bridge and out to sea. My brother did the same in 2002. ive suffered depression for Years, 2 suicide attempts in 2008. And now I have the means to do it. Millions of eyes are going to locate her better than 20 sets, Jay West said. Dear Anthony, [feb.6.2019 @9.26am]. If I make it, Ill have publicity and be on my way, Rhodes told a friend who later testified at the coroners inquest. Rhodes was estranged from his wife Lorraine, who lived in the East Bay in Port Chicago with their two kids, Rocky, 4, and Oowala, 9, but he made arrangements for her to witness the stunt, maybe in the hope that the feat would win her back. Her disappearance was every parents worst nightmare. But 10 years later, Im there again. I was driving toward the Hoover Dam bypass bridge from Memphis over 4 years ago to jump off. :A Follow-up Study of Suicide Attempters fromthe Golden Gate Bridge.. Taking into account suicides that might have been missed by researchers, Dr. Seiden stated that 90% of people who tried to jump off the Golden Gate Bridge did not go on to die by suicide. Parenthood does not protect everyone, though. I am resigned to staying alive until I die in some other way. My name is Steven. I am so very grateful now to be alive and I hope to find ways to assist others going through the deep abyss that can sometimes take over your entire being take another breath, and another. Thank you for providing this site. (findsydneywest.com) West was last seen on the morning of Sept. 30 on the iconic bridge. Such an assumption would be wrong. It was the last thing Dusty did, and it was a failure, she said. Many self harm injuries, stitches. Here Are My Reasons. People are stupid. That changes things. This research, though 35 years old, still holds true. But in reality, he cant know what the future holds. You definitely are not alone, and it does often feel good to be honest about suicidal thoughts to speak what many people consider to be the unspeakable. Her parents thanked others for the love and support, and asked people to continue spreading the word by sharing photos and memories of their daughter on social media. Rhodes also made the news in 1946 on a radio program called Truth or Consequences in which he was bizarrely tasked with living on a traffic island on the corner of Hollywood Boulevard and La Brea for three weeks. His passing causes lots of pain, sadness and changed others lives entirely. You might be helped by connecting with other people who have attempted suicide and can understand not only what can lead a person to do that, but also what comes after. If you want to talk with someone immediately by phone, text, or chat, please check out the Resources page. The persons reasons for dying may begin to fade. It gives me a good opportunity to dispel concerns that others may have, too. In 2013, 118 potential jumpers were talked down from their attempts and did not jump. Now I dont know if I can fight it, but coping with failure and constant depression is impossible. The suicide barrier on the Sydney Harbour Bridge simply rerouted jumpers to a cliff popularly known as The Gap. He has visited mental hospitals several times since his jump. I am a suicide survivor from India. Dressed in a blue sweatshirt, leggings and Vans slip-on sneakers, the 19-year-old college student last contacted her family the day before with a lengthy phone call to her dad, Jay West. Since Sept. 30, there has been no activity on her phone or credit cards. I will just speak it: Their lies destroyed me and there is no one on earth greater than you and those you love and want to protect. Her father grew worried when she didnt call the next day the day she was last spotted in San Francisco. Maybe in order to evade authorities who had refused permission to allow the jump legally 18 months earlier, he removed the weighted boots that were intended to keep him upright during the plunge. Lets get real here life sucks and its hard but dont give up. Previously, police said she had not been seen or heard from since before dawn, on Sept. 29. Required fields are marked *. So when crazy people did crazy things in public places, excited crowds would gather. Even for people who passionately wish and perhaps even need (for health reasons) to lose weight, they do not always prevail. That's a mind-blowing statement. Key to my recovery was becoming realistic about my part in creating the calamity called my life, but also needed to recognize others responsibilities as well. West, 19, disappeared on a foggy San Francisco morning, around 6:45 a.m. to 7 a.m. Wednesday, Sept. 30 on the Golden Gate Bridge. Your pain matters. I know that this surprises many people. In this clinical case conference, the authors begin by presenting vignettes to capture the diversity of bridge suicide. In fact, Dusty told his friend to shoot from the bridge as it would be more dramatic, and besides, he would easily be able to swim to shore to a congratulatory, awestruck crowd of beach goers. But he didnt and will never know that what he had actually solved only his own problem- feeling/depression. He might also have refused to remove the gun from the home, too. There are so many types of antidepressants these days (around 40), plus mood stabilizers, plus antipsychotic medications that can also be used to treat depression. At least twelve hundred people have been seen jumping or have been found in the water since the bridge opened, in 1937, including Roy Raymond, the founder of Victoria's Secret, in 1993, and. I use to hate her for wanting to leave me, got diagnosed w depression at 15 have done so many therapy sessions. Have you found commonality in your suicidal patients? There is only a 4ft safety rail separating the sidewalk from the void, and 98% of suicide attempts there have succeeded. Im afraid to try again and it just adds for anger, desperation, loss of control over my own life and guilt for those in my life who have to worry. Lorraine Rhodes was destitute, and asked Show Folks of America to help pay for the funeral, which they did. I guess I have started to realize its not my faultits no ones fault when a loved one commits suicide. Camera footage has been reviewed and interviews have been conducted among West's friends and acquaintances, but there are no leads. Another possibility is that the instinct to live kicks in once someone comes close to dying. Her family still has hope that they will one day find her. Of the 515 people whose attempt was interrupted, only 35 later died by suicide in the years to come. By accepting all cookies, you agree to our use of cookies to deliver and maintain our services and site, improve the quality of Reddit, personalize Reddit content and advertising, and measure the effectiveness of advertising. I am not sure anybody really wants to die but I know many people, including myself, who are just sick and tired of living and want it to be over. The story of Kevin Hines demonstrates the clarity that can finally appear when someones life is on the line.
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